Friday, May 4, 2012

(FINALLY) Going to the Temple

On May 8, 2012, on my 8th wedding anniversary, I will enter the Mesa, Arizona temple and get sealed to my husband and family. I have waited for this day to come for a very, very long time. I have met with bishops in the past and taken the steps needed but have always felt that I needed to wait for my husband to be ready rather than push him to make the steps on his own. These past 8 years have NOT been a cake walk. They were hard. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me. We have had many storm outs and even separated for a shot period our first year. We were young and our beginning wasn't ideal, definitely not what I had planned for myself. I met Craig at college. I had only been there for two days and he was asking me about my friend's roommate while at a campus social event. I remember randomly running into him everywhere. At a institute basketball game he started asking my friends about me while I was sitting right next to them. It was odd but he did get my attention. After that we were inseparable. We got engaged in October but didn't tell anyone just because we knew what their reactions would be. It seems silly now. New Years Eve 2003 I found out I was pregnant. Again we didn't tell anyone even though I think people knew. I finally got up the nerve to tell my dad, over the phone, when I was 4 months along. I couldn't tell my mom. I was too much of a disappointment to her. My dad told her though and they were banging on my dorm room door the next morning. That was a fun day. I think the high point was when my mom threatened to kill Craig for ruining my life. Good times. The first Saturday after we finished our semester I did what any scared, pregnant 18 year old, foolishly in love girl would do. I married Craig. The only people that came for me were my parents and brother. No extended family. No church family. No friends. My dad didn't walk me down the aisle. There was no music. No celebration. We had meat platters from Costco and a pregnant bride in a black maternity dress. It wasn't my dream, by far, but it did the job and Craig and I were married. I always said that when Craig and I got sealed I would finally get my white dress and we could really celebrate. But that's not happening. I'm not getting a wedding dress and we are not having a party. The only people who will be in attendance is my mother in law and my father in law. Again no friends nor family. I was perfectly happy with this until my temple recommend interview with my Bishop. He asked about my parents which hit a nerve. The feeling shocked me. I stopped it and locked it inside. It hit me again after meeting with the stake president. Here I was holding my very first temple recommend overjoyed then instantly overcome with sadness. It became very real that my parents will never see me in white. They won't get to be a part of such an important day in my life. I won't have anyone there for me, no one from my life to share this wonderful day with. But I will have someone, Craig. He was the one who supported my decision to move away from New Mexico. He was the one who decided we needed to make the dedicated effort to attend church after almost 5 years of inactivity. He is the one that always came back to me to give it another go at our marriage. He has given me four beautiful children. He loves me unconditionally. He is my rock. He is my best friend. He is more than I could have ever asked for. He is giving me the greatest gift he could possibly give me, my family eternity. So on May 8, 2012, on my 8th wedding anniversary, at 12 noon, I get to be sealed to my wonderful husband and our amazing children. Everything else just doesn't seem important.

2 comments:

Stephanie Saunders said...

Yay for you! That's so exciting! Glad you've made it to the temple!

Unknown said...

Oh sweetie!! I'm so happy for you and your family. The Temple is such a neat place and I know you will love it. Good luck lady, our prayers are with you and I know my Mom will be supporting you even if she is on the other side of the country. I know if she could she would be right there with you. Lots of love!!